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Understanding the Struggles of Change: Why It Feels So Hard - The 6 Stages Of Change

  • Hedi
  • May 22
  • 2 min read

The 6 Emotional Stages of Transformation Inspired by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross


If you've ever tried to make a major shift—start a new business, leave a relationship, change your career, or step into a more authentic version of yourself—you’ve probably asked the question:


“Why does this feel so exhausting… even though I want this?”

You’re not alone. And more importantly—you’re not broken.


The reason change feels so hard isn’t just because it’s new.

It’s because every transformation is, in many ways, a death.


You’re letting go of who you’ve been… and stepping into who you’re becoming.

That’s not just strategy—that’s identity.

And identity change requires something most people aren’t prepared for: grief.


💔 Change Feels Like Grief Because It Is


Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, famed for her work on death and dying, outlined the 5 stages of grief we pass through during major emotional upheavals:


  1. Denial

  2. Anger

  3. Bargaining

  4. Depression

  5. Acceptance


What most people don’t realize? These same stages show up every single time you shed an old identity, belief system, or version of yourself.


🔄 The Modern 6 Stages of Change


In the latest episode of the Change_liscious podcast, we explore how these stages translate into the emotional process of real, sustainable change:


  1. Rejection – You resist change, even when you know something has to shift.

  2. Anger – You blame circumstances, others, or even yourself.

  3. Negotiation – You try to “half-change” to avoid loss.

  4. Sadness – You begin to grieve what you’re leaving behind.

  5. Acceptance – You finally let go and begin to feel lighter.

  6. Becoming – You prototype your life as the new version of you. This is where new clarity, creativity, and energy return.


    The key to transformation? Not skipping steps.


🚪 You’re Not Stuck. You’re in Transition.


This isn’t just about understanding change intellectually. It’s about recognizing your emotional roadmap—so you can move through it without getting lost.

In this episode, I share:


  • Why "readiness" is often a trap

  • How to spot your emotional blind spots during change

  • Why you're not out of energy—you’re leaking it

  • How to stop negotiating with the old version of you

  • What it really takes to become someone new (without burnout)


🎧 Ready to Go Deeper?

➡️ Listen to the full Change_liscious podcast episode: The 6 Stages of Change: Why Change Feels So Hard and How to Move Through It (for all links click here)



The 6 Stages of Change: Why Change Feels So Hard and How to Move Through It

➡️ Subscribe to the newsletter to get weekly transformational tools delivered to your inbox. LINK



💬 NOW: Over to You:

What stage of change are you currently in? Rejection, negotiation, or full-on becoming?Comment below or DM me @hedi_schaefer — I’d love to hear your story.



Why change feels so hard, 6 stages of change, emotional stages of personal growth, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross change model, grief and identity loss, letting go of the old self, how to move through transition, becoming your authentic self, change and transformation psychology, emotional process of change

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*DISCLAIMER:  I am not a medical or health care professional and no information that I share can be used in any way for medical advice.  Please consult a health care professional for all your mental / physical health care needs. 

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