How to transform your life?
Updated: Jul 4
"At eleven years old I made a very definitive decision. And my decision was that I wanted to be happy. Above and beyond anything I ever did in my life, I wanted to be happy. But I remember these grown-ups coming to me and saying, "Do you want to be a movie star when you grow up? Do you want to be a dancer? What do you want to be?" And I would say, "Happy". And they would look at me really weird. "No. We said what do you want to be?" And I said, "I want to be happy." That's really all I wanted. Talk about an intention."
- Goldie Hawn (In: The Path Made Clear by Oprah Winfrey)
This is what I read 3 years ago when I was in the midst of my sucky identity crisis.
My immediate reaction? Like a real grown-up, shutting the book and keeping on feeling sucky about myself. Great.
The quote stuck. It impressed me. A little girl of that age making this kind of profound decision?
After I was done feeling sorry for myself and sucky and really didn't know how to escape that misery, I tried a lot of things -one of them: The power of intention settings.
That was easier said than done.
So I copy-pasted Goldie's intention;) Being HAPPY sounded really good, at it was the opposite of how I was feeling at the time. And I added warm-hearted and selfless-something I truly, truly wanted to become as a new mom.
My whole (and ongoing) journey to fulfill this dream could easily fill a book. But that's not what I want to talk about with you today.
It's simply this:
What do YOU strive for?
I believe we are in a time of redefining and creating new value in our lives. Many of you are questioning and redesigning on many and so brave levels. It's a time of change.
To my experience, there are two ways to successfully redesigning.
Questioning what we want to leave behind.
Like: Here's the problem, get rid of it and create a new reality.
Number 2, and to my experience, the more powerful one is Goldie's "intention setting".
It's helping you go beyond what is going wrong. It's helping you strive for a feeling. A bliss state. Intention is the perfect picture. And when you follow the motto: Where focus goes, energy flows, it unfolds.
NOTE: You need to know where you want to create towards. That's the whole magic of intention setting.
So, what is it you are intending?
I believe most "grown-ups," and me for sure for most of my life, think in terms of the latter.
Achievements: Get this car, buy this house.. And believing: Then I'll be happy. Or as Goldie surrounding asked: Be that, be that, and then you're worthy of it.
Only to get this car, the house, and position. And then finding out none of it worked, so I'll be needing that other house and position.
It's a miserable trap.
And worse, if none of this list shows up, staying miserable forever. Feeling like a failure.
It's a strategy to keep moving and with outside expectations. But towards a never-ending treadmill.
Fulfillment is different, and it can't sell you anything really.
Fulfillment means being happy with what is—finding joy in what you have. Or get to work and create a life that matters.
Here, a lot of people, by the way, state that getting rid of stuff helped them get there quicker. Simplification. Worked for me, too.
The opposite of more. And more. And higher. And higher.
I know this can feel nuts when you're in the middle of a storm.
Trust me; I've been there—overachiever at its finest, running from one event of life to the next. Accumulating. More of more.
But. I assure you, finding out about what your intention is can be so life-enriching. Possibly transforming.
To me, this didn't happen overnight. My internal programs at 34 were pretty deeply ingrained.
But questioning myself over and over again. And allowing stillness (phone off, noise out, expectations out the door) led me to answers and to a life that contains most of everything: Fulfillment.
My dear InnovationMom, I'm not here to brag or show you how figured out I am. I'm here to help you figure yours out by yourself. To support, to cheer you on.
By, again raising this question:
What is it you are striving for?
Apart from this question, here is what you can do to make intention setting your reality.
1. Write down, what you think, feel, and in your wildest dream you would like to feel. Can be a list, 3 things, or only one.
2. State it as a positive sentence. I.e. "I want to feel xyz..."
3. Now choose one. Your greatest desire. Like "yes that's what I truly want to feel like, be..." Why "only" one? Well, as I mentioned earlier, I started with 3, and my focus got fuzzy. You will want to prevent my mistake ;)
4. Every morning, remind yourself how you would want to feel. Or who you would like to become. Sit a moment and feel that feeling. As if it was already your reality... Try to maintain that feeling as much as possible. Trick yourself. It works ;) A neurological trick.
5. And every evening, evaluate. How well did I do today? What can I do differently tomorrow to become more of / feel more like xyz...
Once you become clearer and clearer and realize how much of it is in your hands, you start creating. Nothing can stop you.
I can't wait for you to dig into your intention realization!!
Don't settle for less than that. You deserve a life of wonder.
See you soon