Swipe Fatigue, Emotional Armor, and Self-Abandonment: Redesigning Love for the Modern Era

Modern love is… complicated.

Swipe culture, digital personas, trauma, inherited patterns — they all collide in the space where we search for connection. And it often feels like the rules have changed overnight.

A recent conversation I had illustrates this perfectly: someone at a party simply introduced himself like this, “Hi, I'm.... and I’m polyamourös.”  (German for "I love all beings") No small talk. Just a word. Like a code. Puzzling to say the least.

It’s a small moment — but also a mirror of something many of us navigate.

Why Love Feels So Hard

In the latest episode of Change_liscious, I speak with Natalia Rachel — therapist, educator, and author — about why modern love often feels exhausting, confusing, or even impossible.

Many of us carry patterns passed down from generations who often survived rather than thrived. Early lessons about love — from family, society, or past relationships — teach us protection over openness.

Add modern dating tools, swipe culture, and performance pressure into the mix, and love can feel like a maze.

The question isn’t whether someone is “good at love.” It’s:

• Are we showing up fully?

• Are we healing enough to relate from truth instead of fear?

Healing Isn’t Linear

Natalia and I explore healing as messy, human, and cyclical:

• You date.

• You get triggered.

• You reflect.

• You grieve what didn’t work — or what never existed.

  
  

And eventually, you start asking questions that matter:

1. What am I actually available for?

2. Where am I abandoning myself to be loved?

3. What would love look like if it didn’t require me to shrink or perform?

These questions are the gateway to relationships built on presence, sovereignty, and honesty.

Fiction That Hits Home

Natalia Rachel’s Other Lovers — the first book in her Love, Sex, Peace & Poetry trilogy — follows Lena, a divorced mother and successful entrepreneur, as she re-enters modern dating with therapy, reflection, and poetry as companions.

It’s fiction that mirrors reality, exploring:

• Modern dating chaos

• Emotional healing

• Childhood trauma

• Desire, grief, tenderness — and yes, some spice

Alongside the novel, Natalia created the free multimedia series Heal for Love, offering tools and language for the deeper work behind the story.

Redesigning Love: Listen & Dive Deeper

You can hear the full conversation on the 4 steps to navigate modern and redesign love in the Change_liscious podcast, available on:

🎧 Impact Boutique – for the exclusive episode to watch https://the-impact-boutique.joinkliq.io . Join the App for free and enter an entire transformation universe with it.

🎧 Spotify / Apple Podcasts – Search “Change_liscious”

✅ Make sure to follow Natalia Rachel and Hedi Schaefer for navigating the now for a succesfull future.